Feelings change but memories don't

2012-01-19T07:21:00.000-08:00

Life recently is really very bad. Some people do ask me how how is my preparation for Chinese New Year. Not that i am angry but just at a lost of words.
Chinese New Year was always a festival which i really look forward. Because there will be a reunion dinner with my family. That will be the only time my parents will spent so much money on real quality food on the Eve of Chinese New Year. =( What is my family going to do when people having their steam boat, visiting one another during Chinese New Year.

Will my dad be celebrating cny with my grandparents too? Misses him so much.... Really hate myself for not treasuring his presence when he was around. The atmosphere is so different without him around. =(

Work is also very bad too. A very Steep learning curve doing consolidation. Further more, really busy doing annual reporting . So many requirements for listed company. if he is still around, he definitely will ask me how is my work or he will tell me to quit and look for another job if he see me still working at this hour. Dad, i just wanna tell you i am sorry for neglecting you and hope you forgive me..... Hope you dun forget me.......................

I really miss you!

Love you
Your Daughter

2012-01-14T21:49:00.001-08:00

Fear of cny is approaching. memories of being with him surface every now and then. By now if he is still around, he will be starting to buy food and store in our fridge and make sure we have ample of food for ourselves and our relatives when they visit. Chinese New Year will not have any more meaning to me anymore. =(

2011-10-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

3 weeks since you had left and to be exact, 21 days without you being in the family.
Still hard to accept the excruciating fact that you have actually left us. Sometimes i just wish that everything is just a dream.

My days were definitely not any better without u being around.
If i am given a choice, what i would say to my father ? "Dad, I really miss you. I love you. I know that you knew how I loved you. I just wish that I told you more often."

Talking about his death isn't as hard as remembering him: his antics, laugh, joys, pleasures. Whenever i think of any of these, i am overcome with emotions and become stuck in a state of bitter anguish. Sometimes i will become secluded or hide every feeling and emotion for days on end. I am not sure when i will be able to get over this nor am i sure i ever will.

13 days later will be er jie wedding, how i wish u will be there. I know you had been waiting for this day but .... .... .... Its all fated ! life is so unpredictable. Felt rather sad and have no one i can turn too. People around me kept telling me time will heal the pain. But how long? What am i suppose to do when i really miss you ?

All i hope is you coming to my dream to tell me how is your new life? All you leading a better life?

2011-10-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

13 days after my dad had left us. No words can describe my agony. Ever since he left. other than going to work i will cope myself at home as i really dont wish to talk to anyone including my family members. i cant let them know how sad am i as i know this will make them even more sad.

Why Why Why ? Why does god take my love one away. I really wish he is here right now. To listen to how had i been coping in my new company. I still remembered he will tell me not to work too hard and have enough sleep when he see me waking up at 3 am to work. But now i cant hear his voice or feel his existence anymore. He love coffee. He love meat and hate vegetables. He is noisy. He is stubborn. He may look huge but he is sympathetic.

I miss him terribly. Why does human only start to regret when they lost their love ones?

I am not a filial daughter. I did not take any leave to accompany him for any medical appointment, i spent most of my time working, going out with friends and boyfriend , i had yet to bring him oversea to enjoy, i did not buy things he like. By giving him monthly allowance i thought is more than enough. But now i realised i am WRONG. I am such a bitch.

Whenever i lied on your bed, all memories seems to come into my mind. Tears start rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. The only thing which i can do now when i missed you is to look at you photo. DAD DAD DAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY MISS YOU SO MUCH SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

I did not know where to start. Many of us experienced the loss of loved one, the loss of relationship, home , money etc... Most of us will at one time or another go through the grief of loss.

I faced loss the hardest at 25 when my dad died of vascular disease. It happened fast from the time the doctor told us they have to either amputate his right leg or a loss of his life. It took him 1 day before he left us.

I still remember the day we found out. He was suddenly transferred to ICU after a bypass operation. He was recovering speedily. But god was not on his side. He got this sudden vascular disease within a split second and was sent to ICU immediately. We waited outside the ICU. The doctor came to us and invited to a conference room and told us he was in a critical stage and has to have his right leg amputated as his leg was "dead" Soon i realise why he had been complaining pain for past few days. Was due to this disease which the doctor couldnt even detect it at an early stage.

I still remembered when he told us he would want a full body if one day he has to make a choice to choose to survive or lose any part of his body.
We called his siblings to rush to the hospital immediately. I messaged my sister who was in Bangkok and decided to book a ticket for her return.

Finally, all of us decided to let him go. I couldnt accept the fact. Everything is so sudden. I have yet to say what i had been feeling towards him. He was uncouscious at that point of time. But i could see his eyes were wet. He cried..................... I decided to ask the doctor to make him conscious so that we could say our last words to him. My eldest sis broke the news to him and told him we have decided to let him go and he nodded his head. Even if he were to go for the amputation, he only had a 50% survival rate which he did not even have the determination to live on if he were to discovered that one of his leg were amputated.

My family and I stayed that night with him in the ICU. It was very hard to let go of him. It was the first major loss i had experienced. My heart ached. I missed him terribly. I have trouble understanding he is gone. Till now i couldn't accept the fact.

I really miss my batch

2011-09-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Time flies and i had been with pwc for more than 4 years.
Couldn't believe that i had tendered and left the firm. My very first company i had since i graduated from polytechnic.

2011-09-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

Today is a bad day .

Feeling so unhappy that my boyfriend just don't take the effort to visit my dad at all. This is the second time we quarrelled over the same issue. Somehow feel that the old guy which i knew no longer exist. Well human changed isn't it ? He is becoming more selfish and no longer that caring. Whenever we meet, he will tell me "this month very poor" well he is just trying to tell me not to spent too much.

Feel really sad today. Met him at bishan for dinner and intended to go for a movie. But ended up that he left me there alone. Miserably, walk around for an hour and left the mall. Feeling so heart ache. I swear the feeling really suck when someone just walked off and left you alone.

Happened to see some photographs which i hardly took with some friends and decided to upload it.

Ok i am not trying to say i am the best in the world. I am just trying to pour my agony and hoping to forget it tomorrow.

Friday Nite . .. .

2011-09-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

After visiting my dad at NUH, my godfather dropped me at PWC building to collect my pay cheque. Decided to talk a bus to somerset and ended up at Little India and find my way to the nearest MRT station. Thank god ! What a hot weather to walk under the scorching sun!
Met my favourite ex-colleagues for dinner and chill. Though spent one whole night talking nonsenses but it was still a fruitful one as they are someone who are worth meeting up with.

Tons of photographs to be uploaded. I decided to blog regularly to captured all my memories.
Have a nice weekends =)

2011-09-15T18:42:00.000-07:00

I feel so proud of myself as i did not watch any single drama during my one week break. Other than going hospital to visit my dad who had just undergone an operation.

Sometimes really feel like giving up being a trader as it seems so difficult to understand all kinds of charts and analysis. But whenever having the thoughts of being an accountant or auditor will make me work hard to achieve my goal of being a trader. Having to said that, i have yet to start trading aggressively due to the volatility of the market.
Market action is another roller - coaster ride as stock went up and down throughout the day.

Every trader are just waiting for opportunity to enter the market.

Quote of the day: "be greedy when everyone is fearful while be fearful when everyone is greedy" - one of the favourite quote by great investor -Warren Buffet.

One week break

2011-09-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

One week break before my new job commenced. Spent most of my time reading about finance news and investment books. Reason was being i decided to move out of my comfort zone to learn about trading.

Some changes in my life;

-To focus on finance news (business times, CNA) instead of gossips (stomps)
- to reduce my drama series.
-to read blogs from investors
-to reduce stalking my friends comments and thoughts in facebook and twitter.

I am so happy to be added in the group chat commented by experiences and new learners traders like me commenting on fundamental and technical analysis in the group chat.

But market is so volatile due to euro debt crisis and increasing of unemployment rates in US.

2011-08-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

i am so in love with this korean drama ----- CITY HUNTER ! =))))

Fianlly it is time to go......

2011-08-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

suddenly just have the urge to jot down some parts and pieces of my life.

firstly, i have officially tendered from my current job and seeking a new life in a new environment. To be honest, though i had alot of complaints and bitches during the past four years, nevertheless there are some memorable memories which hold me back. Especially some nice people who guided and helped me whenever i encountered any problems, my peers to listen to my grumbles and tolerated my ill tempered & some nice chaps who had given me advices whenever i was really lost.

I will always remember these people deep in my heart. =)

Next, my sister is getting married in October. I hope there will be some peace at home..... But i still wish her to have a blessful and happy marriage.

wait

2011-06-12T05:26:00.000-07:00

All i have to do is to wait . . . . . . . . .

I have to wait for him to forgive me,
i have to wait for him to reply my msg
i have to wait for him to cool down
i have to wait for him to bother abt me

What else can i do other than waiting.

Recently luck was definitely not on my side. I woke up and i knew something bad was gonna happen.

- i broke my serum bottle which i bought it at S$ 138 and i only used it for one week.
- my mgr for my secondment seems to be pinpointing me- (was it personal or just becuase i am from ou5)
- Met my fren for gym and she did not turn up

IF possible anyone please tell me what are the ways to lift up your mood ?

Time management

2011-06-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

Time management is definitely not on my side this year. I have had frequent headaches for past few days. Maybe it is due to stress or maybe i am depressed or maybe it's both. I just cant seem to get into my groove.

Television has become pathetic. Reality show are not reality at all. "Second chance" - Does that really exist? Not that anything happen to me. But it just suddenly came across my mind. It is a matter of fact that this does not happen in my working environment. Maybe then i realise what the real world could be like.
If there is anyone who has some advice on how to make job more fun and productive, please let me know.

Happy moments this week;

-Shopping bargains, - GSS- how I love it!
-Boyfriend had signed up for a course - hoping he will now have a goal in his life-though this result in reducing time spent for me but i should feel happy for him =)
-counting down to end my secondments (just another one more month)

2011-06-02T07:19:00.001-07:00

The purpose of my blog was to flag out memories & thoughts which i once had in my life and hoping no one will read it at all.

I seriously think i am so weak in speaking fluent and professional English. - How to improve and speak like a professional ? I cant stand anyone with Malaysia accents but my English doesn't seem to be much better. To clarify- i am definitely not a Malaysian!

Have you ever wondered what is the most regretted thing you ever did? For mine i would say - not entering local university is my most regretted choice i ever made. Somehow when i come out to society to work, i can feel the different aura between ACCA/Foreign Degree & Local University. Just so different.

I have just graduated from ACCA but why dont i feel the happiness or proud of myself? I am tired being contemned by those local graduates. Trust me the feeling really suck. The world is just so realistic. Finally i understood why my parents always forced me to work hard. But no point crying over spilt milk"

Kept asking myself-How to be motivated towards work ? I find it so draggy to go work everyday. FML

2011-05-22T00:06:00.000-07:00

I CANT STAND foreigners intervening our land and commenting things like "Malaysia is much better/Singaporeans are neither friendly and talented!" whether how true is it i just don't think any colleagues/friends from our neighbouring countries is allow to give such comments"
Colleagues/Friends out there who are telling commenting these, please reflect on how professional your English is or why do you speak to client with broken English! You are in Big four and not Local Audit Firm! where is your professionalism ? What more to say when you are coming to Singapore to work? I am not very patriotic but i just cant bring myself to respect people from these Countries! Please stop using canto/Hokkien when you are working! GOD!

2011-03-26T22:28:00.000-07:00

The MANAGERS here are absurd, outrageous , unreasonable, ridiculous, idiotic & IRRITATING. You are not booked on their job and they will just keep haunting you to work for an engagement which you haven o CAKE AT ALL by using your own time ! Damn you !! Even if you are book for an engagement you are not allowed to charge for one full week. dont they know that liasing with outsource accountant and the holding co. need time too! And what about drafting of a financial statement. Why is charging the time on client an issue when i am already working till 9 pm on your engagement! Even you work till 11pm and you have to use your own pocket to take a cab home! IT is time for me to move on! i have gotten what i had yearn to achieve !!!!! Enough of my toleration!

2011-03-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

i feel like i am suffocating . i am so tired of all the arguements i had been going through and never ending quarrels. sometimes i really wonder why is it just so hard to understand each others.

maybe we are just too sick of it . Not gonna think of it anymore.

Take care dude !!!

2011-03-06T05:13:00.000-08:00

sometimes i really wonder, how will my life be if i am not a auditor ?

2011-02-05T06:06:00.001-08:00

Time flies and it is now Chinese New year again. I would say this is one of the most important festival for all Chinese. This festival will bring most of us together for a reunion dinner and also a catch up time to meet up with relatives who we only met once a year. Everyone is so busy with their own social life and working life and they have tends to have forgotten that family actually comes first.

Had a long break (Thursday to Saturday). I would say i almost die from burning midnight oil for the past few days. Working till 5 am rushing for reporting dateline jobs and at the same time you have t handle your current job. Trust me, it is not easy especially you have those selfish managers and seniors to work with.

I would say it is really hard for me to get along and mingle well with those new seniors as they are one of those selfish species. They delegate almost all sections down to the lower level and threatened with PF. Tell me how to work with such people. Life is truly miserable working with these kind of creatures. What worse is they actually know nothing when you asked them something. They will just direct you to "have you discussed with the client" - If client know the answer, what is auditor for ? These people truly dont earn my respect at all ! The only quality i see in them is their "flattering skills," when manager and director coming down for field review. This was sooo amazing!

Truly horrifying to even think of those time spent on such engagements. Please god, spare me from such engagements. All i can convince myself is to learn never to be like them as this will only bring nightmare to others.

CNY were spent on visiting relatives. Suprisngly, this year, some of my relatives who had migrated to USA and England had came back to Singapore. Their career and family love really take my hats off them. How i wish i could be like them.

Watched hachi during the visting and i think it is a really touching show ! The show taught me about loyalty. I guess even humans can never be compared to hachi for their loyalty.

Last but but not least, i would wish everyone a happy Chinese new year and may 2011 be a propsperous year!

Last post of FY 2010

2010-12-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

dinosaurs years ever since i blogged. It had been nothing much exciting happening to my life. read one of the blogs and i could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks. "everyone in the family is trying to put a tough front to one another so that they can carry on with their life" - I can feel the agony that the family is facing.

Starting to pick up squash as a sports to relieve myself from stress. Sports is the best way to vent my agony and anger especially when you encounter nasty people whom you can do nothing about it. Have you ever felt so helpless where you are so frustrated with someone yet there is nothing you can do about it? Well sweat will just pay it off .

Work is still never ending. Am i just being too inefficient and ended up i have to sacrifice my personal time to work ? The worse is the upcoming PEAK PERIOD. GOD, i really wondering how am i going to struggle myself through this tough period. This is the first time i can feel the fear and horrendous night with just few hours of sleep. People calling and sms-ing you to push you till you are forced to a corner.

My dear has bought a new Honda car. I can see him smiling almost every day. Attention is all on his new car. I am praying i don't have to spend my weekends washing and polishing his new car with him over my weekends. Of course i am happy to see him so ecstatic over his new car. He told me he really feel like spending his night in his car. But really hope he don't overspent on his new car.

FY 2010 had make me grow up. Especially in understanding how looks can be deceiving. Well Deceiving is the word which describe the nature of humans especially for office people. I learnt to be more tactful especially to people i see everyday. This shall be my last blog for FY 2010 and let's welcome FY 2011 ! ! !

2010-07-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

Everyday is like a fighting a war, playing mind games with bosses (managers + directors) and clients. It is after all their event, concerning their reputation and costs incurred. And some of the managers are like 24/7 mood swing.

Had been meeting up with friends, colleagues, boyfriend after work till midnight. I am guilt stricken as i had been staying late without coming home for dinner. But feelings is strange to be at home. Topics with my family seemed to be dehydrating. I know i have to put a stop to it

Work is still never ending. Endless of reporting & coaching notes to clear. The only motivation to work is because i have a batch of colleagues who are really nice and fun. Of coz not all managers are as bad as what i had said. They are still a handful who are willing to cover your help you when you are in hot water.

Started to go gym ever since my examinations ended. Went for different classes - Body combat and etc... It is so herculean to catch the classes as they started at 630pm. How to go when you are at client's place especially when you have a senior with you .

I am starting to have read books especially in handling personal skill. Recently bought a book "The law of Forgiveness"

On a happy note, i will be going to a bbq and chalet next saturday. I really love bbq chicken wings and hotdogs.

2010-03-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hottest topic in Singapore is all about Jack Neo. Seriously, when can we put an end to it? Never ending publishing in paper and Internet.Could we just have something more interesting or worthful things to comment on ?

i'm feeling a little under the weather and under appreciated, by the people whom i had maximised and put through my effort and hard work in. it should seem odd that i would receive that needed encouragement or a thank you from the least expected people, people whom i almost never utter a single word to in a day.

Damn it sonsofbitches !! -_-

Apart from those above, I really felt blessed and happy. I have a sweet boyfriend who really dote on me. Though, it is really hard to meet up due to our work but i still love him like the first time i see him.

2009-12-27T05:45:00.000-08:00

What a horrible 2009 Christmas. It was a real bad one.

Total 4 days without work ended just in a blinked of eye. Thinking of peak period was an upcoming nightmare.

Really hope all the bad things that are happening will be over soon .
Mum please wake up and get well soon. =(

2009-11-22T08:35:00.001-08:00

My dear's Favourite!

Study break is so enjoyable for me. It is the days where i am allow to hide myself from the all the ot-ings and people that i really hestiate to talk to.

It really good to sleep till 1 pm everyday. But was really sad as my times of meeting up with mao had been restricted to one day per week. No matter what, we are still so sweet!

I am buried with all my books everywhere. As long as there is a table, my books are lying everywhere!. Mao ever mention that i am a messy gal. Kinda agreed.

Please bear with my lousy camera phone. Admit the photos were not well captured as i have downgraded my phone to a flip phone. Kinda love the design but the function was not that fantastic.

2009-10-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

i know i haven been updating much but i definitely have sufficient reasons to back my insufficient postings. And of course i am not going to reason all these here.

School recently is like 100% bitchness. lecturer is so scarcastic with his words "Lazy Row" Seriously, what wrong with not doing our homework.

Life in pwc. As usual , people leaving one after another and shit flying around after they left. (Hmmmm, nothing to comments)

Last weekend went JB with Dear and his colleagues, Desmond and Sam both with their gf. I really think they are so funny and so different. Especially their never ending hilarious natural consveration.

Was told that Sam's gf was earning a monthly basic of S$ 2k. But with mothly comission she could easily earned up till 4k per month with not much OTs... That's the life i want and i am so jealous. (seriously, i need my social life so much)

Went to have a simple dinner & movies and bought super back for my parents and a day just ended so fast.

Haha.. we are going again next coming Saturday as again they will be making their cars and i swear i gonna pester dear and convince the gals to go shopping.

Ivan came to Singapore for F1. Had dinner with a group of seniors + doris. Seriously din really enjoy much.

Had dinner and headed to the rabbit hole at dempsy road for a drink.

Atmosphere was great but was very inacessible. Probably will go there more often with dear for a drink next time to enjoy relax soon. =)

2009-09-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

Cannot remember when was the last time i were to blogged it. Everyone is so busy with their life. Whether it is work or studies!

I am still trying to have a work life balance. But it seem so difficult. Tons of never ending work. Backlog is the most scary nightmare which i am so afraid of.

Had a bbq at ECP. Not that bad as almost all our batch had turned up for the games and bbq.

Friday (sept 11 ) was travis's birthday. Not everyone turn up but all of us still try to make it to celebrate for him. I think we have enjoyed ourselves.

Next is my dear dad's birthday (sept 12). Had our dinner at Peach Garden . The food is very limited there isn't much choices for us. With the price we paid, highly not recomended.

2009-08-10T05:59:00.001-07:00

i am feeling so vexed. Kept having the same problem every weekends.

Different views, opinion, dissatisfaction, arguments, quarrels, eXapersation, resentment and frustration. So many XXXXXX pondering in my mind!!!!!

Starting to feel that you dont understand me at all.

@#$#@$R#$%R#$R%#@$@R$#$R@#

"why does people have it and you need to have it too?"

(I am not happy at ALL)

2009-08-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

Dim Sum at Jambo

Yummy bao luo bao

(Duck's tongues from ivan's mum)

(Simply love this milk tea!)

(Well known Shanghai food)

The financial controller of lane crawford)

( Arcylic nails~ love it so much)

(ox's tongue)

Happy birthday Singapore!!!

So happy. My blog is back again after months of dunno what shit. Was too lazy to open a new account so i decided to stop blogging. But since it is fine now, i shall resume recollecting my memories.

So many things had happended during the past few months; and i shall make it a short one.

Family; Trying to be a filial daughter and bring my parents out wherever i am available. Spend more time with my family.

Relationship: Was trying hard to be an understanding gf and minimise my stubborness and unreasonable demands.

Seeing my love one waking up so god damn early to work and suffering the pain to work for at least 12 hours a day really make me feel i am such a lousy girlfriend who was so unreasonable at times.

Work:Was promoted and of course now having a greater responsibilities.

Was god damn lucky as i finally fufil my dream of going oversea to work!

Friends: Number of outings with my colleagues had reduced as we are all busy with own TIC jobs and funds.

Just met up with my secondary school friends and damn it . i injured my ankle and become bai ka and bedridden. There goes my long weekends . DAMN IT

Recently, went to see a skin specialist as having problem with my complexion. Was being cheated. Feeling so demoralised. The doctor wanted to charged at S$ 598!!! Even my elder sister who went to the specialist at orchard doesnt cost that damn much.

My Wishes;

Really hope my boyfriend will have a happier life and love me more.

To have a closer relationship with my family, especially my 2nd sister.

Really wish my pimples will be recovered and i can pass my exam. Studying and working is really so tough. Especially in such a hectic working enviroment.

(Lastly, i know it's a bit lame and i know she wont be reading this blog. Just wanna say a big thanks to my senior, kaimen! She has left and yet i din get the chance to thanks her on her last day!)

2009-06-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

exam is finally over and i took unpaid leave to study.

Sad. i know i din do well. Cant blame anyone or anything. I wish i have a photographic memory. I know i am not intelligence!!!!

Seriously i really don't know what hell is with my head. Having headache eversince study break started. What the hell. Been seeing doctors but no medicine works for me!!

Have been going out ever since my exam ended. I am damn tired but cool. i wish i can have this kind of life forever. But school starting again!! Demoralised!

Back to work again. So many rumors ... and I shall pray that my whole batch will be promoted. Please be kind to us.

Before i end, i wanna tell the whole world that my bf really treat me good and i am so fortunate to have him.

i am so blessed.

2009-05-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

These decorations looked so great. I wish my home will be like these.
Last weekends was a great ones as we had resting days. 2 weekends plus a PH.
If only my work is a 4 days work ..... .... .....
Wanted to go prawning with mao and his family.
But saw the people there was damn boring. So his dad suggested to go strolling at the park.
Oh my.. It had been decades ever since i been to the park.
God. Mother's Day is coming and yet i am in a mixed feeling. I know they will be sad. But i am seriously feeling damn helpless.
I sincerely hope at least i can do something to lessen their whole family's pain. But i doubt so.

2009-03-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

My favourite snacks!!!

I remembered when i was in secondary school, xin, sharlin and a few of us went kite flying but ended up it didn't fly up.

2nd attempt went kite flying with mao mao and his family.

And i cant believe that this blur guy threw awaythe stick and ended the kite cant fly up again.

Suprisngly , his dad brought one huge kite for us. Hee... ...

However, on that day i lost a precious diamond earring that was brought by him for my christmas present. damn sad.
Damned it... ... hate my carelessness.

Seriously when the kite had flew up high, i cant think of what to do but to look at it.

my ba you pok was trying to fixed it for me!!!

My Kite !!

Lovely heart kite.

I am aware that my blog skin is damn ugly. But seriously i just cant be bothered.

Dunno why talking about blog skin just simply make me remind of my ex colleague - Isabel Hong Xin Yu ( I have never seen anyone who can be as creative as her. ) sad to say after she resigned seem to lost contact of her. I guess she is busy flying all around the world.

2009-03-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

I AM FUCKING PISSED.
THIS MSG IS DELIBERATELY FOR YOU AND STOP TELLING ME " GOD MAN I HAD BEEN HAVING EYE BAGS JUST BECAUSE BLAH BLAH BLAH ...... ...... BEING A FULL TIME STUDENT IS ALREADY MORE THAN ENOUGH. STOP TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THE LIFE OF JUNIOR COLLEGE STUDENTS. ALL I SEE IS U WATCHING TVB AT HOME OR MSN-ING. NEVER A TIME I CAN I SEE U CONTRIBUTING TO THE FAMILY.
FUCKED.

SO WHAT I AM A POLY GRADUATE OR PERUSING ACCA ?
U ARE JUST LIVING IN A LIFE WHERE YOU JUST HAVE TO CONCENTRATE ON UR STUDIES WITH ALL THE LUXURIES GIVEN TO YOU SO EASILY.
BUT U DOES'NT SEEM TO APPRECIATE OR CONTENTED.

I FIND SOME PEOPLE TO BE DAMN SELFISH AND GREEDY .
WHAT IS FAMILY LOVE. I SERIOUSLY CANT SEE IN THEM.

WHY DO I ONLY SEE TWO PERSON SUFFERING AND CONTRIBUTING TO THE FAMILY?

I CANT LIVE WITH SUCH PPLE.

2009-03-19T16:15:00.002-07:00

Shall have a short post today.

Manager came down for field review. Learn alot of things from her and somehow really respect her . Her technical skill is Superly good and she is nice. =)

I have no reasons to complain the number of coaching notes she raised or wanting us to be detailed.

I am happy =) though this is a ultimate tiring week for me.

Sorry yl & xl, for promising you i will turn up for the dinner but broke my promise and thanks for the understanding.

Workload is tumbling up and my dearest dear had been encouraging me and told me that i am always better as compared to those without a job and nothing to do.
Alright i shall stop complaining. =)

2009-03-04T21:52:00.000-08:00

i wonder do i blog to for my friends to keep track of my life or do i blog to keep track of my own ?
Sometimes life is such dilemma.

Recently i am so involved with my work such that blogging has became the last of my priority list.
Workload still the same and i wouldn't want to comment anything as it is nothing if i were to compare to those high flyers/seniors/managers in my company.

i am having terrible headache today and it seems that nothing can cure my sickness.
Got back my result recently. As to what i have expected, i flung my audit paper which i was late for 30 mins.

got 48 and really wtf..... ..... ....

2009-01-30T23:52:00.000-08:00

2009 Happy Chinese New Year ! ! ! !

Ok everybody! i am extremely estatics cos my dear has bought me a samsung omnia for a surprise gift!

Seriously i am still trying very hard to adapt the life of burning my weekends to work. i dun like it but am i left with a choice. or am i just being inefficient.

2009-01-18T00:05:00.000-08:00

Went shopping with bui bui. haha. i must say he has been working very hard and he has become really sensible.

New year is approaching soon and just had my hair highlighted.
But i am not very happy with the outcome.

Went inventory stock take with kelvin. I hated it so much. The place is freaking dirty and got so many mosquitoe bites. The yellow small little smiles was to prevent mosquitoes. lol... ...

Finally got this twilight book after reading "lethal seduction"
Not much comments for lethal seduction as there isn't any peak and fall in it.

Just hope i can faster complete my acca and allows me to focus my money and time on other things else.

Now i am comtemplating what phone to buy again. opps!!

2009-01-14T05:58:00.000-08:00

i am terrible, horrible and selfish. i am rude to my parents.
When my mum asked me to do something for her i yelled back at her.
Sorry mum! though i Noe u will never ever read this entry!

finding my life so monotonous.

Looking to 2009 CNY!! Yea!! i love BA GUA

2008-12-27T23:49:00.000-08:00

Some historic pictures....

i know it had been ages ever since i blogged. my last post was a few weeks before my examination. god. so much things had happened and i really wished all the agonies that were happening will come to an end.
i am here to note something down for the sake of reflections to be done a few donkey years down the road.

2008 is coming to an end and the upcoming 2009 will be a tough year for everyone due to the economic downturn.

2008-10-24T19:43:00.001-07:00

i wonder who else is reading my blog.
i am feeling damn fucked up and it's like some twit or whatsoever.
His mum left us. it was very unexpected.

i felt depressed and helpless.although she is not my real mum. but i see her every weekends. i love her but
anger swept in with vengenance when i thought of how heartless was it to leave them behind. his dad's forlorn face make my heart feel so painful and agony.
i love his parents too.

now she's gone. she left them. his dad, him, and his two sisters
i dunno what else i can do. he reprimanded himself for loving me so much and neglected his family.

He wanted to ROM with me and i gave him a NO answer.
it is far too early for me to have a family. it's definitely not that i dont love him
but i dont believe in early marriage.
i dont want to end up regretting or divorce.
and because of this we quarrelled everyday and we are in the verge of breaking.

2008-10-04T05:35:00.000-07:00

Every night before i sleep, i will feel tears prickling my eyes. last week i remembered i will keep myself busy to occupy my times. But every day seems like a month to me. i really hope time will flies.

today morning i woke up with a slight pain on my head. i guess it is due to the black label i drank. Ytd was my co's Dnd and it was fantastic. i had a great time and a reunion with my own group except vivin who had gone oversea with his parents.
expectedly, few people went but that's not my concern as people who had gone are the people that i care.

i love my spontaneous group. they are so sporting!
shall upload photos for the next entry.

2008-09-30T00:19:00.000-07:00

This picture shows how messy he is although he has a maid.he accused that i am always the untidy one.

Loved

Suddenly i find my blog skin damn ugly.
i admit i am not a creative or artistic person. neither will i spent time searching for nice blog skin.

i am so happy as i am currently on 8 days mc as i had a wisdom tooth surgery again! twice in a year and had already cost me more than 1.5k. This time it cost me S$800. wth!
although i was given 8 days mc, i decided to go back to office on Thursday as
i only left with 4 days mc till next financial year end which is June.
mao brought me to the dentist and waited patiently for me.
i find him damn hilarious. after my surgery, i communicated with him by typing message on my phone. and the funny part was he did the same thing back to me. i stared at him in awe and questioned him why cant he just reply with his mouth and he said YA HOR! both of us couldn't stop laughing and this causes so much pain to my wound.

sometimes i really don't know what's wrong with me. i got myself a new phone again. i sold away my samsung soul which i used for less than 2 months.
everybody is saying my hobby is changing phone. lol. i simply cant resist the tempation of changing new phone.
i have promised mao i will not change anymore phone within a year. i really hope i can!

mao has gone to Darwin for his detachment.
i must admit my mind cant stop thinking about him.
today, i brought my parents to kovan to try his parent's noodles and at the same time i went to hougang to change my DS charger.

it seems like no matter where am i, my mind couldnt stop thinking of him. at this point of time, i must say i truly love and miss him so much!
i hope time will pass faster for his return.

2008-09-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

Last week was a terrible week as i was damn sick.
I had food poisoning and it lasted me for 3days.
Seem like a good way of slimming down!
i was down with flu,fever and headache after i was recovered from food poisoning.
Because of my flu
and my voice sound like an AH GUA ~!!!
What the hell... ... ....

This entry seems so messy. And i seriously do not know what am i blogging.

2008-09-06T05:38:00.000-07:00

Recently mao's family was looking for new apartment and they were thinking of buying an executive maisonette. mao was damn funny. asked him how to spell maisonette and he gave me weird word- masionate? he seems very adorable at times. I was blogging halfway and mao showed me his favourite la pi xiao xing comic. omg...

Days are so much better with intelligent, resourceful and funny colleagues around.
i just have to click on sametime(company msn) with brilliant answer and funny jokes popping up
and that simply saved me from my one week of L&E -course.

Went shopping on friday which was intended to buy some office wear for myself.
i think i am really very fussy as i still din manage to get one which i like. i tried one and i think i look like a fat butterfly. it's ugly

2008-08-30T23:37:00.001-07:00

(recently i was so into :when a dog loves a cat)

(company event-Amazing race)

(Dinner subsidies from bx and simon) Thanks so much

i am freaking bored.
staying at home and doing nothing!! wad a waste of time!

i am sad. Many fun and nice people had left the firm.
Why are nice people leaving? they are so fun to be on job with.
but... i am happy as a disgusting gossiper who accused me with attitude problem had ALSO left! clap clap!!

Saturday went back to SP with my colleagues for badminton. It was a fantastic game.
but we were chased as the students there need to use the hall for CCA. Wth.. It seems so difficult to book a court even when we are willing to pay and book a court.
I must say zhi tao seems to be really good at it. we played for an hour and went to eat KFC. OMG!! it's dammn dammn sinful!! and bx told us something which was sooooo shocking!!!!! It seems like these will only happen in drama.
All i can say is humans are selfish. They only care for themselves.
Life is so %$#^&# and complicated!

realised that life is soooo boring...
i wish time can fly.
drag myself to work everyday. i dun want to do OA ... ... ...
i dun wanto study and go for night class.
When will these misery gonna end?
how i wish i can have a pet of mine. But i know my family definitely object! :(

the upcoming week is L&E week! goshhhhh! hate it so much! i feel damn inferior!

2008-08-03T05:43:00.001-07:00

This week was such a drag. Dragged myself to work almost everyday.
It's because i was reprimanded by the client.
The client kept yelling at me.
Saying i am stupid and audit is stupid
i swear i was really humiliated and upset with the words she used.
Next week will be having IFRS course at SMU. When has life become such a drag??

Ok talk about something that is more worthwhile.
Last Saturday went orchard with mao mao.
Without any plan, mao mao bought me a GUCCI wallet for advance birthday present as he will be away to Australia for detachment. sad.
i really think i am a highly maintenance gf. But mao mao just love to see me happy.
i feel so loved.

Anyway, mao mao . Thanks for e gucci wallet.
I will always remember and treasure every little thing that you had done for me.
Just like you travelling to tampiness to collect the phone for me.

Recently i had spent alot of money as i just gotten my bonus. Seriously it was not well paid at all. But i am still happy. Finally i bought a phone for myself and some office clothes and heels.
FYI: For those who use perfume, there is a perfume shop in B1 selling perfume quite cheap. Dont worry their perfume are real and lasting as i one for myself.

now , i must treasure more time with mao before he leave singapore!!

2008-07-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

my hours of creation.

Ah tu !!

Went stonegrill for dinner. The steak is great. Found this restaurant at East coast road!! The ambience is really nice and the food is great!

The steak is really great and fresh. i would give a rating of 9.5/10.

My fats is all because of these temptation which i couldn't resist!!! Wanted to play badminton but mao no racket!

Hee. look a little disgusting!!

Yummy ice cream!

I am contemplating.......
thinking whether to buy an elegance phone (V9) with not much function or
a better phone with a better camera.
mao kept encouraging me to buy a PDA phone but it seems so hard to message with a PDA phone.

omg. i wish i am more decisive!!

2008-07-18T08:37:00.001-07:00

AA2 my badge. We have just been promoted. Finally!!!

Xiao pang really look like siao cha bor in this picture.

One whole family plus mao and Liu de hua

Look at the extra

Katherine look super funny in this pictur. lol

i admit i am really slow in updating my blog and it is becoming a dormant blog.
This blog was initially planned to be created for my dearest mao for entertainment and of course to recollect the happy moments and vent my agony. But it seem like ... ...

Few weeks past, celebrated mao 23rd birthday. Somehow feel that he is easily contented. A simple celebration would make him over the moon.

i reminisced when i was in kindergarten, my parents will wrap small packet of sweets and chocolate for me to distribute to my classmates.
When i reached primary school, my friends will be invited to my birthday parties.
And when i was at secondary school, my close friends would share among themselves and divide the cost and buy something for the birthday girl.
Finally at the the age of working adult, i guessed most of us will just have a simple dinner and call that a celebration.
I believed when we reached older, birthday will eventually abstracted.

Last Saturday was a fruitful day. Went Ice-skating with my friends and mao! I must admit my terms with the group have improved tremendously. Shall not elaborate as you can see how estatic we were just from the pictures

Lastly, talking about work, all i can say is : I've observed the 'strongest' of lots falling to their knees in withdrawing and the 'weakest' ones to emerge fully unscathed from tricky situations, plowing through steadily. People aren't always what they seem.

2008-07-01T06:11:00.000-07:00

(GG and my favourite mao mao)

(GG is still the cutest)

This gigantic dog really scare me off when my dear and i went to ah bao hse for mj session!

(They are actually not scary at all but just too heavy to carry)

Mao mao and i always shared all the common interest~ mahjong (Though we lost in the end)

This isn't the full family -

Past two weeks have been a relaxing week.
Had been secondment to L&E department to do brainless stuff.
Many thoughts lingering in my mind. kept contemplating why do i have to do
all these? isnt those admin people that were offically employed to do it?
Den what is the main objective of having those admin people, secretary , typist or
Ma xiao xie??
The only thing i can convince myself is it is defintely less stressful than out on job.
Today is the declaration of our bonus. I am happy as we all shared the news together. At least there isn't such politics or jealously among us. We shared the joy irregardless who got the highest nor the lowest.

Tomorrow is mao mao birthday. i am really looking forward as we missed out last year. Happy birthday to my dearest mao mao.

2008-06-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Dinner at essential blue in Holland village

Nice ambience to chat. Opened till late midnight.

Karen told me she love this table cloth just because it is checkered as we were discussing abt gucci and burberry wallet.

Look how excited they were

Simply love this msn nick of mao mao! i feel so loved! hee..

my mp3 which accompanied me throughtout the study leave.

Mao mao sexy leg and butts. hee

a couple pillow- 2 for $49.90
Dear bought the pillow for me due to the tension in my neck and frequent headache.

I am neither sad nor happy today.
Feeling quite emotional today. Went cck with my parents to wait for all my sisters.
Eldest sister-Went to IT Fair with her buddies to buy a laptop.
2Nd sister- Meet boyfriend
youngest sis-Working

In the past, i really loathe Sunday night. Reason is work tomorrow.
now, something changed my thought.
I am working because i wanna buy something.
i work because i wanna have a better future
and i work is because i wanna go oversea with mao mao.

Mugging for examination!!

2008-06-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

b

To reward myself!!Yummy!

iam mugging for exams while my sister is mugging with ART. STRESS! hate exams and i hate myself to have the habit of pushing it to the last minute. Loathe the feeling of coping myself at home just for the last minute revision and now i cant meet my mao mao! Last Wednesday mao mao posted me a precious moment card to motivate me to work hard! Those words are so meaningful and sweet. At times really find him to be very sweet! He is simply my source of energy!

Damn it! the very next thing after my exam is WORK! No more annual leave and MC or family care leave! Seriously i really dont know the reason why i dislike work so much. i am working for the sake of money. But come to think about it who doesn't?
ACCA=9 more papers to complete! OMGGGGG!
I must count down the days for the next meet up with my mao mao!

2008-05-26T00:59:00.000-07:00

I am having my study break with additional 7 days mc for my wisdom tooth extraction and it cost me S$635. There goes my half month salary....

Alot of things have happened.
Firstly, i would like to congratulate my bf's parents for their business. Their business is really good. But i cant deny i am one of their great fan for their food. i would give a rating of 10/10. You readers reading my blog should try it at kovan ! i shall upload their pictures soon... But in order to eat, you have to queue for a minimum of 1 hour. Haha..

2nd: I have got a new DS lite. LOL. i must be really crazy for buying a DS lite during the study break. But... i am so imerse with games and i can really play for a day.

3rd: MOST importantly, my Dear birthday is coming.....i shall do somthing about it!!!! Really gotta crack my brain and think hard.

2008-05-04T06:12:00.000-07:00

I jus came back from my bangkok trip. It was a nice one. i bought alot of stuff for myself and my family. i think the every working adult should go on holiday! at least there is still something you can look forward to.

I swear, i will work hard for me to travel to developed countries after i graduate from ACCA.

I am disappointed today and i wouldnt wanto elaborate more on it! dun ask why. Just wanna forget about it. Sometimes i really find my life so lifeless. I cant think of a sports that i like.
At least if i'm interested in something, i'll pursue it. if i like it, i'll give it my all. passionate about everything i do. i see hard times as an opportunity for change. down 2 earth. fascinated by people and their journeys. the mind is so powerful.wont satisfy your needs, if your not worth it.if u told me to do something i already did and done that, cause im outgoing person. i admire those that are free and speak their mind.there's more to life then getting by.I work for what I deserve.

* i promised i will upload photos that i took in bangkok for my next post.

2008-04-13T04:35:00.000-07:00

It has been decades ever since i come here to post.
Well i shall post a short one.
Recently had been reali b busy due to the reporting dateline for my job.
The manager in charger even came down on Thursday and Friday to review. Of course it is super stress as she is my mentor. My bonus, promotion and apprasial all depends on her. Anyway she treated us Kenny Roger which i don't like it at all.

Anyway, i dun aim to perform very well for my work. As long as it is up to satisfactory and i will be satisfied.
Went to my god-parents house to celebrate my godfather and godbrother birthday with mao-mao. He wear till super shuai and i was wearing shorts. omg!! !

Next week will be a busy week for me again. But i will be going oversea. YEAAA!! counting down to the days

2008-03-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

i am back to myself agn.
All thanks to dear-mao mao.
Had a fruitful day.
I had a sumptuous dinner with my
god parents, my parents and of cuz mao mao was there too.
HOWEVER, no photographs were taken as i were busy chatting with them.

Bought eye cream from KOSA due to my eyebag and panda eye. Of course it cost a bomb
as the size is just similar to a bottle cap .
No choice woman are born to be vain.
I cant believe that i have spent 4 hours doing on my pedi and menicure and seriously it is so waste of time. BUT Lucky mao mao was there to accompany me!

Gotta sleep early as tomorrow i going to force myself to swim 10 laps.

i am happy and i am counting down the days for my holiday trip.

:)

2008-03-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

i wish i am in an empty glass.
To show you my emotions and how much effort i made.
To prove to you i CAN and not i Dont want to.
Finally i am starting to see the ugly side of human.
The realistic world with evil people.And it is frightening

i can be stubborn, impatient and at times a little insecure.
i made mistakes, i am out of my control and at times it's hard to handle.
Bringing out the topic of "FAIR"
When has life ever been fair?
I accept it and i am ignorance about it.
i am learning the hard way that some poems don't rhyme and some stories dont have
clear beginning, middle or end.

PS: I LOVE MY DEAR-MAO MAO

2008-03-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

She is pissing me off!! that fat retarded asshole is too much!!!!
What the hell. She thinks everyone like her so free? laze around in the office.
In office all the sai kang comes to you and at client place rushing like mad.
OMG i cant stand her. Heard alot of negative comments about her and i have to go out on job with her!

2008-03-08T00:35:00.000-08:00

Due to complains from eunice lim ah bao and Yee mao mao i decided to update my blog.
recently i've spent alot of money.
i bought a mp3 zen M vision with 30G and
Dear bought me a charles and keith bag.
omg.. damn happy.

think he really dote on me as he kept asking me to buy these and that.
and he commented that "where got bf kept asking gf to buy yet she refused."
OMG. i bet he is one of the endangering species who do that!
Thanks Dear. i think i am a very high maintenance gf?

I AM so into HEROES recently. i spent all my journey watching it. It was a really nice show.

2008-02-27T14:52:00.000-08:00

i woke up at 5am to finish the tailored procedures.
i personally feel that doing that is a bit lame.
i guess most of us will just copy and paste.
but it is always stress by the team in charge that this is a important
step.
anyway, thumbs up for this week TIC.
i would say she is a really nice person.
praying for more jobs with her.

times reali flies especially when iam out on job.
Definitely no time for my studies and it always have to be pushed to the last
minute. but but but.. i only left with 5 days of annual leave.
omgg.

miss my dear terribly as there he is working night shift.
he works i sleep and i work he sleeps.
anyway, he bought me a spare battery for my phone as i have lost
orginal battery. how sweet is he when i din even mention that i
wanted to one.
i guess i must be really clumsy.
how could someone lost a phone batt? haha..

I shall end here as i have to take train down to bishan. i cant take cab! haiz haiz haiz.

I am happy !

2008-02-23T05:19:00.000-08:00

Have gone missing for a long time.
anyway that is not important.
today i have gone to see a fortune teller with dear.
receive some good and negative points.
i was being told by the master that i am too emotional? is that a good
or bad thing?
Well, for those bad ones i will heed her advice and gonna change myself.

Friday was isabel last day.
Sad. think that might be the last time i gonna see and chat with
her like never before.
i am reali proud of her. she has got into SIA. woohoo.. cool
suddenly i have the thought that the only person who will never
leave me is my family and dear? hor ? ? ?

2008-01-28T05:35:00.000-08:00

Post 3

Post 2

Post 1

The people around me are such a creeps. i swear!
i seriously dont see a point where they are such people who are highly pretentious!
Y? are they human ? dont they have feeling? arent they tired ?
whatever.

Sometimes i have the urge to quit blogging. my blog seems so dead.
everytime when i feel like publishing post, i stop myself and close the window.

i am so in love with this song. no matter how many times i listen i still deeply in love with it.

Avril Lavigne-when you are gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

[ Chorus ]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day and
make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
[ Lyrics found at www.mp3lyrics.org/as ]

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day and
make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah yeahhh
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do, I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone the face I came
to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear
will always get me through the day
and make it ok
I miss you

2008-01-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

1)i am so into dungeon maker recently. For those who have no idea what it is all about, it is a game for psp.

2) i am so so into novels. i spent my journey reading - there are so many twist in the story which makes the story so interesting.

3) i would like to apologise to Mr Yee mao mao for neglecting you recently by not replying your messages on time. Mainly is because i am out on job with the senior and it is hard to keep track on my phone.
well,though i am guilty for letting you feel neglected i am still gonna scream at you for spending so much money within a day for your amplifier. Better watch out although i never pull your ear long enough.

4)i am so high this week as finally i have met a nice client from Japan. Efficient and responsible are the best words to describe them.

2008-01-04T01:29:00.000-08:00

A new year has come. a fresh start and i hope it wont be another crappy year.

Alhough my expression doesn't show, but indeed i am very happy. Cos mao mao came to visit me in the morning before he went to work! he came all the way from sengkang to bukit batok and bukit batok back to sengkang..
simply love his caring and love!!
anyway i am on MC today as I am having a bad sore throat + flu + fever. the feeling of staying at home is so great.

Finally i am back to office and i can leave that kang tou. he brought me so many nightmares. a word to describe him " DISGUSTING"

2007-12-26T04:47:00.000-08:00

DAMNNNNN IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tonight i feel downright miserable!
it is difficult not to bring my personal life into work!
it is hard and i cant do it !
i know i am diving into my own destruction if this continues.
i wish i know how to put a full stop to it.
life goes on no matter what happens. time and tide wait for no man!

Jealously steps in making my world so confusing !
i am trying to get fitted in but it's probably not for me!
Trying so hard to get what i want yet others get it so easily!
Is this call life ??
yeA! Cos life is never fair!!!!
Sometimes i really rather being simple minded and
not knowing anything is the best!
IGNORANCE IS A BLESS! I AGREED!

oh man! i realised i have to work on saturday! it is disgusting !
esp your love, family and frens don't have to work!

i am sad :(

2007-12-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

A long weekends for me but it had become a total agony.
i hate the feelings right now. i tried to be perfect but yet i still cant satisfy everyone.
I know nothing is everlasting , nothing is fixed , nothing is permanent. changes is inevitable. i wish i can pack up and leave!
leave all the memories i had and all the irritating person i had to face.
everyday i have to wear a mask till i have forgotten who i am!
X mas is ending soon and i dont want 2008 to come. school will be starting on January! thinking of having night class makes me feel so dreadful!

Anyway i have learnt a new recipe from Mary. she teaches me how to cook carbonara! it is damn damn delicious! ! i have decided to learn some cooking! I guess a woman who only knows how to work and yet cant do any cooking isnt fantastic at all.

# i guess my entries are boring.. but i admit iam someone who is monotonous.

2007-12-20T01:13:00.000-08:00

My beloved sis~~

Yuckssss!

He insist to do thredding!!

Photos we took at genting during my study break!!

Finally i am back to blog!! Jus finished my exam and was reali busy with work !! Well i shall blog a shortone as i am now at mao mao house. We are goin out with dinner to celebrate his parents anniversary soon!!

2007-12-04T17:11:00.000-08:00

Just finished two papers and i think i gonna fail this time. No confidence. I dunno.Dont ask why. jus dunno wads wrong with me. First paper was tax. Theory question i cant answer at all and left with 60 marks for practical. No idea wad is it all about and so i anyhow whacked it.

2nd paper: Law! oh ghosh... i din noe that the format was open ended question which means u gotta really studied through for every chapter. Well, i jus briefly studied through and there goes my 2nd paper.

Now now... there goes my confidence!!! left with the last paper and yet i am blogging right now. Dont feel like touching it at all. cos i noe it will just be another disappointment. At times really feel like giving up on ACCA! Its not as easy as wad i have thought. There are approximately 1800 examinee and yet i think the passing rate is low. so this is the reason why people concluded that full time degree is definitly much easier to scrap through.

When i was feeling down, mao mao came to meet me. I think he is still the main source of energy for me to go on. Seeing him really brightened up my day. without realising it, i have already poured my whole heart onto him.

2007-11-25T23:29:00.000-08:00

i am currently preparing for my examination! no i cant afford to fail ! not even for a single subject ~~~ i wanna get my certificate asap!

Shall update after my examinations!!

2007-11-13T18:12:00.000-08:00

Every morning, I see a monster when I looked into the mirror. I looked so livid with the black panda eyes on my face. I don’t want any make up. I just want to be myself.

I am really mixed up by a lot of things. My mood swings killing me and there’s many things I wish I could apprehend.

Somehow I could see the woman hunting me. The thought of seeing her makes me feel scared and loser.

I don’t like the negative of me !!!!

2007-11-09T01:05:00.000-08:00

Recently I had a conservation with one of my long lost friend. We were talking

about “Reliance.” I personally felt that relying too much on others will somehow

make you feel vulnerable but I just cant helping relying on DEAR. He seems to be

very protective over me. For instance, he messaged my close friends through

friendster that I felt the disappointment in me when they forgotten about my 21st
birthday.

Whatever the reason they gave, I suddenly felt so DISTANT from them. They are a few selected species which were once close to me.

Maybe that is life. A life that is full of decisions and sacrifices. We are all too busy with the heavy and endless workload and studies.

AN EXCUSE?
Who on earth will an adult were to say they are FREE? It is just a simple answer i know from this that how important i am to them.

Anyway, i was really suprised by what dear did to me.

Dear promised to bring me to his company’s events whenever it is possible. He

decided to face the music with me. I was so thrilled when he told me that.

After 2 years of relationship with him, my bond with him has gone another level up.

I should be ecstatic to see that but yet suddenly I have so many “what ifs” or “I am not good enough” I could not fight all the negatives thoughts in me but I know

clearly that I just want him to be with me forever. I am afraid he might be gone the next day.

While I was on my way home from work, suddenly I have a “career-minded.” I pictured

myself gaining the pinnacle of one’s career and dreamt of myself seconded to

overseas to work with my laptop and travelling on first class. I am so silly to

think of that as I am the most junior in the big firm. I think I must be out of my

mind to even dream of that.

I am envious of people with perfect English and no grammatical errors.

2007-11-06T18:57:00.001-08:00

I have no one to turn my problem to and so i ended up blogging here.

If only i have his ears to borrow maybe things wont turn up so bad!!?

But that pair of earsi need badly isnt here!!

I didn't expect things to turn up this way and no one understand what is happening. so i choose to be ignorant.

I Just hope everytime when we quarrelled i would take it lightly and having things heard fall on deaf ears.
At least i wont be that miserable and ponder over night. i guessed i am just not matured enough.

Wanted to take MC today but all thanks to XL. Called me early in the morning to ask" Hey yvonne wanna go gym or steam bath ?" i guess i cant sleep any longer and so i drag myself to work again.

2007-11-05T22:44:00.001-08:00

Shagged.

Just came back from gym which is located just beside my company.
I have joined the firm for about 4 months yet today is the first time I stepped into the gym. The facilities are near to perfection.
There are towels, shampoo, hair gel, body lotion and hairdryer.
Think I must really discipline myself to go there more often.

I am looking forward to Thursday.

It is my God brother’s son first month anniversary.
Omg…. Finally my godfather has a grandson.

I misssssss dear dear !!!!!

2007-11-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

Photos taken at zoo!!

I am looking towards a holiday trip! It had been a decade ever since I went for shopping. I wanna shop as if my pocket is full of endless of cash and sleep as long as I want. No early alarm to wake me up and no worries of being late for work. Just do what I want! But yet it is soooo hard.

I hate the life I am leading now! No sufficient cash for me to buy things for myself! Trust me! The feeling is suck and I told myself I MUST not fail any modules to end this agony soon.

Last Saturday, BYP was recalled back to base. While waiting for him to come back I changed his bed sheet for him. I hardly do any house work at home and yet I still offered to change his bed sheet for him.

Sunday was our 2 yrs anniversary! Bought him a couple ring as a gift. But we never celebrate as he had to work on Sunday too. We almost quarrelled as he left his ring in the base but after sometimes we were fine! I admit I am disappointed but I must comprehend as he told me that he rushed to meet me after he finished his work. So wad can I angry with? But But But ….. The disappointment is still there! Alright I gotta be a little understanding. And I am trying to be one.

Happen to read a blog created by a student in university! Disgusting! She was saying about having sex with only construction guys as Uni guys don’t measure up. Can anyone believe that a graduate saying that? Her mind is always full of dirty fantasies. I was thinking does this person really exist?

2007-11-04T22:23:00.000-08:00

My 21st birthday was over. Like Dear said 3 days package were over! Haha. Fabulous! I enjoyed greatly especially when you are with someone you love. I have definitely made the right choice by celebrating my birthday with Dear than going for my D&D.

Last Thursday met dear up to chit chat. He told me that he had to work on the following day and I was a little disappointed. But I told myself, work is definitely much more important and so I told him I will wait for him after his work. To my surprise, he waited till 12 am and gave me a surprised. I was really touched and speechless when I saw what he had did for me.

Simply love this Dummb dummb!

This Golongsong waited 3 hours for my lesson to end! Poor Boy!

Perfect dinner @ StoneGrill! Yummy

His work !!!

This truely melted my heart

2007-10-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

Alright! It's is 2 am and yet i am here blogging!
Disappointment & Agonizing

Went zoo today! It was suppose to be a community service but my group and i were more like entertaining ourselves ! I was so looking forward to the games but ended up no game! =< Reached home really tired and slept after a shortwhile!

Then received a message from him telling me he got dinner with his colleagues! So

how should i reply? Of cuz i am not happy but after sometime i think thru and told

him ok then, why not we just meet for lunch? But no reply from him.......

My mind was wondering is he outside enjoying with his friends? Alright i admit i am not a good gf! I know you can find someone better than me! You are always picking on me! Trust me! the feeling is terrible! He told me eversince we quarrelled his feelings for me has decreased!

Wad is the point of being together? Wad is the point of holding back ? Wad is the point of me having sleepless night while you enjoying ur dinner and having a swit dream? Ridiculous! If a couple who truly love each other were to quarrel i dun think this will happen!

I am beginning to realise our dreams and future are becoming unrealistic!

While in office, chatted with one of my senior and she told me that never a time she say break to her bf! She say it only when she mean it! And she told me she hate her boyfriend leaving her behind when they quarrelled! I understand her feeling! And i asked her so do u walk away from your bf too? She said "YeS" and it is common for gals to do that! Cos we are ladies! But to a man that is definitely out of qns!

KL just messaged me if i wanted to go for supper and la kopi! Indeed this is the time i need to tok to someone but i still told him No! I told him i was really tired! Why am i always being so "superglue" only to my bf? i simply hate the way how i deal with relationship! i confessed i am not fit to have one!

Read this quote from somewhere and i find it so true: "Be carefull..the ones that make you smile are the same ones that can shatter your heart."

2007-10-17T20:09:00.000-07:00

The clock is ticking but I don’t care. Just hope time will pass faster. Everyday is so tired!

1- Forced myself to get up from my bed

2- Looking at my phone to see if dear msg me

3- Wash up and rushed out of my house

4- Play PSP which I am so crazy with

5- Reach office

6- Drag myself to school after work~ it need so much determination and discipline

7- Home (Sleep)

It is simply not easy to study and work at the same time! Alright stop complaining.

Everyone in office is doing that too. Now I am only looking for my weekends and hope

no more weekend classes and pray no OT for either BYP or ME on weekends.

Sometimes I do worry that there isn’t sufficient time for me to spend on him and his feelings towards me will gradually fade! It is simply not easy to maintain a relationship. But I simply hope we will last forever.

Went Isabel house’s to play mahjong and this time we won. Bought BYP there too!

Indeed He is a PRO. Sometimes really envy him as he can think really fast!

=) dinner at Mirarma Hotel =)

2007-10-11T00:28:00.001-07:00

MMS FROM ME TO BYP

MMS FROM BYP~simply love this! One & Only

Fei You & BYP

Weather was really bad! It is either freaking hot or heavy weather. What wrong with the earth!

Last weekend was okay! Went for Aimeei’s 21 birthdays and I brought my bf along. Hopefully he enjoyed himself as he was there playing with the PSPS and joined me for mahjong session for the later part of the day. I would consider myself to be unpropitious on that day but yet I only lost 10 bucks. BYP saved me from losing more than that. Thanks BYP!
Anyway had some gathering with my old classmates and realised that the guys look kinky. Haha. But I admit they are definitely much more matured.

Recently I know BYP is disappointed with me. I lied to him that I went for class but actually I went out to have steamboat with my colleagues. I AM SORRY Dear! Din mean to lie to you but my mood was freaking lousy! And I swear I am not blaming you for working night shift. Even it is 5 minutes conservation with you during lunch break and I will greatly appreciate it. You should know the reason why I feel so sad. Anyway his cute little msn simply cheer me up! Simply adore it!

Yesterday during lunch break, my colleagues and I saw Pierre Png & Andrea De Cruz. It’s Isabel dream guy! Looking at Andrea De Cruz makes me feel so demoralise. If only I have the look of her then I will be 100% confident of myself. Where have all my confidence gone to?

Recently chatted with one of my friend and realise something which I couldn’t understand. Why do married men go prostitution? Seriously, it is such a complicated issue which I don’t understand what these people are thinking at all? Most people said that it is a NORMS for men to find other women whom I find it absurd and incongruous! So to men may I know what the purpose of marriage is? Simply just companion or you are just afraid of loneliness? It is selfish if this is one of the reasons to be. Why cant men think of their wife working so hard and yet they still have have to undergo hardship of giving birth to children! It’s disgusting and outrageous when I heard my friend’s dad or relatives going to developing countries to find mistress. It seems like finding a faithful husband has become more demanding than ever!

2007-10-05T04:30:00.000-07:00

Just got scolded by BYP~ (Ba You Pok) You know who you are! haha Simply love this nick that i have created for him! In return i will allow you to call me (fei you). Was out on job last week! One word-(Great)! Though alot of vouching to be done but the client is good! Not only that, everyday woke up at 745am, took a shower and vanish without putting any make up But till my complexion is terrible. What's wrong ! Simply hate my pimples! =(

Did some self reflection and realised that i am not good. Offended some people without being aware of it! But simply hope you will be true to me than saying anything behind my back - the feeling is terrible!

Finally weekend is here! That is the only time i am looking forward to spend all my time with BYP. Simply love him!

2007-09-27T23:46:00.001-07:00

I wish you will understand me but it always turn up to be a commotion for us to pick on. If only we are living in our own world. Life will be so perfect-even it is a simple one.

Recently I have got a new habit of taking a nap in the bus! I think I look disgusting but I simply won’t give a damn to think how others look at me. As long as I feel light hearted after a long sleep! How I wish I can simply take cab to work everyday!

This week isn’t a very nice week for me: =(

1) Fuming with anger after I called ICPAS and they told me that they do not have my registration number. The only thing I can do is to wait! What the hell as 15 October is the last day to register for my exam.

2) forgot my atm pin number and there are so many procedures to be done in order to retrieve my atm pin and card back! UrghzzZZZ…

3) Job for that particular job has been removed andI am not happy at all!

4) Dad giving me cold shoulder as he is disappointed with me

5) Boyfriend not understanding enough.

Anyway, just hope that hope 2007 will be over real soon! Dreadful year for me

It had been a very time ever since I feel so embarrassed! My slippers was torn and I couldn’t walk at all. Ended up have to walk with barefooted!

If I were a teacher I would rewrite my own history. And if I were an architect, then I’d draw up a perfect plan for my future.

2007-09-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody , I am back to blog! The reason for not blogging for so long is not because I don’t want to but everyday has become a norms for me to go on! Now, sit back and hold on to a packet of potato chips to start munching as there are a lot of things for me to blog !

Well , last wed went out with Isabel and one of our senior to audit! I swear this client is the worst one I ever met ! She is No. 1 complain QUEEN! She is one of the bitches that make foreigners judge Singaporean as COMPLAIN QUEEN ! Can you imagine? She tried to call my director when she overheard my conversation with my senior! During the first day of our audit, my senior went to client place with us. But she left in a short while as she told us she got to rush to another client’s place! Of cuz Isabel and I were ecstatic! We are out of the office and there is only both of us working together! But I swear, during the audit, we never even log in to msn! We were very serious as we wanted to prove to others that we as a support still can work well without a senior around! However, on Friday, my senior called us to ask us to get a purchase list from the client. I reported to her that there is a difficulty getting stuff from the client as she kept telling us she is busy and will pass us those documents that we had requested from her tomorrow ! Wednesday was our first day and she passed it to us only on Friday afternoon! I am only trying to tell my senior the situation we are facing and I never even say that becuz of her which lead to us slowing down our work pace. And worst, it is true that she kept delaying the time when we wanted a soft copy from her! After she overheard our conversation, she tried to call the director to complain that she did give us what we wanted from her ! I don’t find myself at any fault at all! She knew that we will be there doing vouching and she simply look down on us! What the hell ! Don’t tell me that when she just gets into society to work and she never go through all these before? Why make such a big fuss of complaining to my director? It simply piss me off. Well, I just have to tolerate for another 7 days! ENDURE !!

Went Mirama hotel to celebrate godmother’s birthday. The food, ambience, and conversation with my god family is great! My godfather really dotes on me! He seems to care and understand more than my dad. He asked me whether I have enough money to pay for my school fees! I swear deep inside me, my heart was melting. He simply understands the situation I am facing. But I still rejected his offer and told him I am able to cope financially. Just cut down on my wants and everything will be alright!

Well, everbody! I am back with Zhanwei! I will give him a chance. The reason is simply, I simply love him! I want to be back with him ! I don’t want to let go just like that ! I see him as my future. Anyway, last Monday, he went up to my house alone just to pass moon cake to my parents. Cant deny I do admire his courage. I bet If i were him I wont have the guts to do so! I am praying the rest of the days will be a smooth sailing one for us.

Recently heard several cases regarding to Malaysia! The people there are targeting on Singaporeans. Look at the number of cases where Singaporean being robbed, wife being raped, car being smashed police are well known for their corruption and notorious! I swear I am not going to contribute any income for them anymore! Not going there for holiday, supper or whatever! Went JB with my parents and bf and out of a sudden was “ASKED” for coffee money! Being so vulnerable in a foreign country, we have no choice but to give RM50 to them. I was bloody exasperated but my dad told me it’s okay! What the hellllllll!! I simply despise, detest and condemned them. BOO =(

2007-08-24T02:19:00.000-07:00

Yeah! Weekends coming ! Another 5 minutes and i am off work ! Happy ! Sometimes i do find some people really disgusting. Especially womenn who are so slutty! They purposely wear short and tight skirts to be slutty! omg.. just cant stand them! Another type of people which i cant really stand are those are extremely boostful! Kept acting as if they are princess ! What should i do during the weekends? should i start my revision ? urghzz. how i wish i am born to be those with higher intelligence!

2007-08-23T01:06:00.000-07:00

I think i am getting really lazy ! Can you imagine i changed my blogskin during office houR. Furthermore i am having two weeks break~Yesterday i was on mc as i am running fever and having a terrible headache. Laze around , played psp, slept the whole afternoon and watched tv with my parents! Though it is a norm but yet i feel relaxing and happy. At least i can accompany my parents! i am contemplating whether to go for revision class before my exam!But it is not cheap! 300 + for one modules ? if i am able to pass then i wil lbe able to save 900+ but if i fail ? contradicting! Getting my salary soon! Half of it gonna give my parents and another big portion gonna save for ACCA !
I feel sinful as i had been munching tibits all the timee! i dun wanto become a fatty boom boom!

Pictures speak louder than words?

2007-08-20T01:25:00.000-07:00

Pictures speak louder than words? ;p

2007-08-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

Today dinner was great ! it was an advance birthday celebration for my dad as i will be having class on his actual birthday ! I just realised how rare my family are to sit down together for a meal! quite sad as everyone in the family is busy with their own life, whether is relationship, social or work !
I greatly appreciate those who read my blog and gave me advices or comments ! Thanks ! But i muz admit my blog is boring! I am just to lazy to design !
oh ya ! Finally i have bought a new phone ! being nagged by my mum for changing phones so often ! But she still waited patiently with my daddy and sister at singtel shop for more than 2 hours ! Feel so bad while we were waiting for our queue !Greatly appreciate that !

2007-08-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

Dreaming during lesson

Appreciating Cheesecake

Everyone has been asking me why is my blog so sad ? should i just delete it off and re create a new one ? but they seem isnt any good or happy things happening to me ! finding my life getting reali bored ! Everyday is just a routine for me to repeat ! Even my weekends are not an exception! Everyone kept telling me to work and study hard and so i can enjoy when my wallet is full of credit cards ! Today is saturday and yet i am here blogging . Can anyone tell me what is my interest? As i grow older , i find myself isnt enjoying at all! Instead my burdens increased ! so much burden!

Recently just heard from one of my good fren quarrelling with her bf ! Feel quite sad for her ! think she reali put in alot of effort and that chap isnt seem to be appreciating it at all ! Why are always the women that are so emotional ? put in all the effort but in the end it just go into the drain ? In order to escape from the guilt and make urself feel better , you will just find any excuses that u can think of?

so guys out there , tell me what do u reali want?

The Vt in my company just left us ! Although it is a short period i reali enjoy the times being with them ! they are so fun & cute !

2007-07-30T00:29:00.000-07:00

I AM FURIOUS , AGITATED , ANNOYED , AGONISED , EXASPERATED INFURIATED AND ANGER JUST SWEPT IN WITH VENGEANCE ! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO ? I HATE IT ! SIMPLY HATE IT . I NOT GONNA CARE ANYMORE ! SOMETIMES IT IS JUST BETTER TO LEAVE THINGS LYING DOWN THERE THAN DOING ANYTHING ! IT SIMPLY BREAKS MY HEART! I AM NOTHING !
Sometimes reali wonder why is there so loving couple out there ? They don't get to see each other everyday yet they still trust each other deeply ! No distrust and worries! finally i understand that relationship is just a game ! i am not gonna involve in this anymore ! i am definitely not someone who can takes things lightly ! i just take things too hard ! i wanna earn buckets of money ! wanna enjoy my life alone with my family and not with anybody else ! whether will i be single for the rest of my life i not gonna care anymore ! there isnt any everlasting love at all ! it is just foolish to think there is ! stupid !! urghzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2007-07-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

i am starting to drag myself to school ! i hate night classes! it is freaking bored and tired! Have been skipping lesson ! haha ! all thanks to my friends who are so on ! but if oli my sister were to find out, my head will start rolling on the carpet! she will sure nag at me ! haha. so i better keep my lips sealed! I was quite suprise that there is refreshment for the new staffs! Thumbs up ! haha! Training has come to an end so does it means that hardship gonna start veri soon ! i heard from some of the seniors that there isnt such things that is called off peak. even off peak there are still jobs on hands . The different between peak and off peak is that peak period have to work till reali late and off peak means we still have to work late but it is only until 10 pm ! haha .
Shall continue blogging other day! just dun have the mood to blog! so mani things have happened !

2007-07-23T18:38:00.000-07:00

Haha. having training now yet i am here blogging! seriously i cant stand quietness! It is freaking bored! but lucky toda instructor allow us to on our laptop! It is morethan enough! lol.. But But I am dozing offf soon !
I think it is women favourite question to ask their bf if ur mum and i dropped into the sea who will you save first ! isnt it? i admit that did crossed across my mind ! haha !!

A girl asked a guy
Girl said:-"if you, your best friend,your mother and me were in the middle of the sea and you're riding a boat that can only carry two people, which one of us will you save?"Guy- of course my mother...Girl-(hurt by the response but trying to hide it) oh, i see...and then the guy say...Guy- "and then i will jump off the boat and let my best friend drive the boat with my mother, so that i can be with you and never let you go"

XXXXX

2007-07-23T03:05:00.001-07:00

Suddenly have the urge to change phone ! Whenever i feel like changing the phone there are so mani reasons!
1) Always hang la
2)button a bit siao
3)auto shut off
4)sell it off while the value is high
5) Blah blah blah .....

Money is not easy to earn yet i am spending it just like water ! Someone please knock on my head ! i haven use my phone for even 3 months . lol !! but but but ..... i wanna changeeeeeee
Oh ya ! i am now so engrossed with mj ! so dear frens if u short of kaki pls invite me over ! i am a beginning nude ! but i have my master to guide me !
Time for me to go for my lesson le ! Yawnssssssss.....

Bad times are over

2007-07-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

HERE COMES MY BURGER ! - MJ Queen

We are all Big 4 and the photos look weird ! lol

My first job in PWC- my senior !

My beloved Sister -

Yum Yum !

It is an experience wearing that ok!

Clap Clap! two weeks of out on job is now over. Finally over! There's definitely something i had learn ! though it is jus the beginning part of my working life. i miss the office ! next week is the last training i will be havin for this year ! oh gosh ! i love training ! it is so relaxing . but of cuz it depends on who is the instructor too . well, from my audit work , I realise that people from Germany are impatience ! haha. they are easily agitated ! got the fear to discuss anything with them! 1st : my english isnt that fantastic ! their slang is a headache to me . 2nd: i am new and so i am slow ! even i dun reali undst why , i cant ask them to explain for too many times ! but cant deny the german boss looks charismatic ! haha he seems weird ! he love neatness ! it is just my habit to work with many files around and can you imagine the secretary kept asking me to tidy the place ! damn weird guy !
sat will be goin to celebrate my mum birthday ! it had been a long time ever since the whole family sit down together for dinner ! cheerssss!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

ohhZzz.. had been a reALi busy week for me. came back to the office with a bright spirit ! Yet the first thin i do was to look at my retained! sad ! out on job tmr. haiz.. UNFAIR ! but has life ever been fair?
Oh ya ! sometimes i wonder whydoes emotional men exist ! i came to a conclusion that a person will only become emotional when they have reali go through some hardship! isnt that true ?? tired! haven got enough rest over the weekends!
I think i am someone who reali think alot. Especially when i am alone! why why why ?
sometimes reali wish to marry someone whom i can lean and rely on! why am i working so hard now? am i reali happi ? am i concealing the truth ? is dis wad i reali want? wadeva it is ! stop thinking rite now !!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.. cant sleep at night again! Why isn't any resolution btw him and mi? i am goin crazy if this continues. someone please save me from this misery. There seem isnt a full stop between us at all. It's never ending. He told me that he reali love me but do you know that this is the 4th time he told me and everytime he dont mean it at all. Jus dun wan to elaborated what he did. It will simply bring my mood down.
i already have a hard time coping with my work as i am too new too this industry and my managers and seniors expect alot from the juniors. There isnt any time for me to adapt to working and studying at the same time. Worst, the client which i am dealing with is from Japan.
cant reali undst wad is he trying to say when i have audit questions to ask. Furthermore, most fo their invoices are in Yen currency and yet i have to translated all of them to singapore currency as their financial statement is in singapore currency. omggg..... I got a hard time translating. Wa lao... Stupid la. i am jus sway. Whenever i thought of MONDAY, i willstart shivering. No wonder people always comment that life is never fair and easy! I AGREED!
I believe all these are only short term! i will stop complaining and go through all my hardtimes with confidence that i will just get over it soon ! I believe that one day with my will and determination to go through everything the result will be sweet ! I am living my social life. Actually there is a fear in me. You noe what i am freaking worried that i will stay single forever. i know i am only 21 but with my workload and studies, there isnt social life for me at all. I just wanna find a man who is ambitious,responsible and charismatic! I just need someone who i can trust him with my whole heart. But can i ? i seem to be closing up myself to everybody ! when can i start to open up my heart ? But can i ?
i hate my weakness especially in relationship! anything whether it relates to work or studies i am not afraid of it at all. But why am i so scared and no confidence in relationship at all ??????????????????????

2007-07-07T02:20:00.000-07:00

Dis is my miss clumsy !!

Here she goes .......

My Sleeping BEAUTY !!

2007-07-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

oh! it's me and my beloved sister~

arent she sweet?! =)

2007-07-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

Well well.. busy reali busy these few days. I am falling sick. Running fever and having terrible headache. Maybe is i still haven adapt to the life of workin and studying at the same time. Oh i am damn sway too. first week of lesson and i am out on job with one of my senior. Date line is next friday. it took me one and a half day to deal with just the fixed asset of the company. now is the off peak and i am already feeling so dread. someone please give me the energy! Next week is a hell week for me. my senior kept telling me to work late. The worst part is there isnt any hawker centre around the area.Our lunch is always the workers there help us to buy. Wad about our dinner ? omg.... i cant work without food. i will smuggle some tibits.
i would like to comment on my classes. i am wasting my money. i cant reali concentrate and focus during the lesson. but lucky it is still the introduction of the module. so i am still able to cope. brought work back to do during the weekends. so i assume my weekends will be a boring days for me again. haha.
xin, karen, am, and lh has gone for genting trip. hope they reali enjoy.
I miss my sleeping beauty ISABEL and clumsy XUELI.wait for me to be back in the office. i will be back the following monday .
lastly, i realise that my blog is so boring. there isnt any photos. i promise i will upload soon..... sooon.. bear with it readers

True love is....

2007-06-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

Well another boring day! When can i find something that makes me happy or cheer me up ? Love listening to sentimental hits. It simply touches my heart! Alright enough of me grumbling over him ! It is time for me to get over! Well, while surfing the net, i came to read this story and it simply touches my heart! I hope those reading my blog will treat relationship seriously and not just because you need someone for accompany or whatever the reason! Love just because you really love each other !
Let me begin the story.......
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down, we're going too fast. I'm scared! And I don't want anything to happen.
Guy: Come on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Your having fun right?
Girl: NO...please stop. I'm really scaredGuy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I LOVE YOU! Now please slow down.
Guy: Give me a hug.*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you help me out here? Will you take me Helmet off of me and put it on you? It's bugging me.In the paper the next day: A motorcycle has crashed into a building break failure. Two people found, but only one survived. The Truth is: That halfway down the road the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug him for one last time. Then had her wear him helmet so she would live, even though it meant that he would die.

2007-06-30T03:12:00.000-07:00

Its another boring weekends for me! As normal, simply love my loner attitude! Ha ha. Coping myself at home.Now i shall officially declared that I am fully prepared for my ACCA!
Hey someone please tell me why is Shawn(1 of the superstar contestant) out ? he got such a nice vocals! It is unfair to him! Where are all his voters have gone too! Anyway i am not really his fans but i personally feel that he got the talent.
Suddenly i feels that i just don't understand myself! Why do i give people my msn and yet i just give them attitude when they talked to me! It's stupid but i just dun feel like talking to them ! When can i find my real self ?
Can anyone tell me what can you really do and enjoy in singapore ? Especially over the weekends?

What's Wrong With Me??

2007-06-28T05:57:00.001-07:00

I did a very stupid thing today!I messaged her through friendster and give her a scolding. I am just waiting for her to messaged and scold me back. I admit i am aggressive, harsh and stupid. I know. i have already lost the battle. But i just wanan give her a good scolding for intruding my life and taking all my dreams away. I know, love is not everything. It is only part of my life! I see the importance of my love life too ! But in a split of second just washed away! My memories will still be kept in my heart! So what u broke off with him not. Everything wont be the same anymore ! All Thanks to U ! I shall not mention ur name here. You know who you are ! People like you being a third party will definitely get ur retribution. i will bless you with him ! Get out of my life now! I gonna brace up and continue my own life!
Going stock take at genting lane! Sianz! I preferred my slacking life at work. Msn-ging, Browsing throught people profile , gossiping with my Favourite isabel and reading those e learning is definitely much better than stock take! Sometimes just couldnt control my fingers and tends to click on his friendster to view! Everytime when i read, i feel my heart really pain! Kept telling myself to give up but giving up on someone u really love is never easy ! It is the hardest thing to do so!

Numbbb

2007-06-26T18:41:00.000-07:00

Finally.. I am able to post my blog. Wa lau .. I am a blogger idiot. Has been smoking during office hours. Damn heart pain. Can smoke reali heal my pain away? Cant reali sleep at night. Y isn't him doing anything at all ? why does he think i owe him and jus sit there hoping i will give him everything? he is so selfish. Reali selfish! he jus want things to go his way !
Looking forward for my class. Class starting next week ! Yea ! Clap Clap! At least there is something that is able to keep me busy! Sick of my loneliness! Staying at home over the weekends and daydreaming he will come find me ! But is all my fantasy dream!
Y now is off peak and there's nothing to do in the office at all ! Damn sianz! They Kept asking us to read read reaD! ?It is sooo Bored! My love with him has reali ended! He told me that Esther presence make him realise that he love me! But why he isnt doing anyting? just because i cant stay over at his place and he demand a break ! What a hilarious joke! Biggest joke that i have ever heard! Why Do i love him so much ? He isn't rich and handsome! But why ? He is bad tempered, Stubborn, cute , chivalrous and bossy and irresponsible! Love is such a miracle and can really drive a person crazy ! I swear i wont seek for love until i build up my career and complete my ACCA!
This morning, my godfather messaged me! He asked me have i seen the doctor. I am really touched. It seems like only your family care for me and not anybody ! I wish i can get over with him as soon as possible.

Love Changes but memories don't

2007-06-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Can anyone tell me why do people work ? why love exist when adultery exist , love changes and passion die after some time? None ! No one understand too ! No humans are able to to resist temptation whether it is money, fame or beauty!
Damn shagged.. Workin now!Compeletely nothin to do. No one will believe that I am workin in PWC yet i have been doin nothin for the past two weeks. Shiok! I wish i can easily have this simple life. No worries.
Friday will be my first day to go to client's place. But it is stock take/ Sianz!!!!